i’m struggling right now. i miss him so much. i get exhausted from all the crying and sadness, that i push it aside for a couple weeks... only for it all to come rushing back at the end of those weeks...
i tried the group counseling thing... i cried through every session. i felt like i was making it even more traumatic for the people around me.
i’m in a berievement support group... its helpful at times... but most times its overwhelming...
May is fast approaching. It will be one year. A whole year. And for me, its as if no time has passed at all. My heart aches the very same today as it did when i kissed him goodbye in that church in New Mexico...
I look at pictures and I still can’t come to grips with the fact that he’s gone. It’s not real, but I know its a reality... does that make any sense?
I just purchased two books from Barnes and Noble... they are about the loss of a sibling... be prepared Missy and Josh- i’m going to try and talk you into reading them too!
Sometimes when i’m alone I put my face into a pillow and scream "Why did you leave me!!!!!!!" It helps for a few moments... but then the sadness come creeping back...
I feel at times like my heart is going to burst from all my pain...
The world could have benefitted so much from a person like him sticking around. He was such a servant. So generous and kind and funny...
I’m sure God has a heaven full of wonderful people, couldn’t he just have left my brother here? It’s horrible to question God- i feel so awful for doing it- but its how I really feel...
I love him so much. I’m trusting God that one day I won’t feel so lost...
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